I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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