I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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