He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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