Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
