But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
