girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
