My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
