how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
