dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
