this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
