Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
