I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
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look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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