so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
