wrigley field is MILF paradise
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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