Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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