K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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