Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
