you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
