Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I hope mine doesn't look like that
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
