i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
