im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
