I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
