Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
