Have you finally orgasmed yet?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize