i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
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These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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