I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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