soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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