I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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