She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
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