well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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