My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i drank out of a bidet.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
