I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
