my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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