Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize