Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Acid is not a monday night drug
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
