I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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