The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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