5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
