I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
