Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
