how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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