good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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