im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
