never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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