She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
