if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
