yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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