I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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