so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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