I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
