that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
