i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize