He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
