Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
